The world of R-rated horroris filled with spine-chilling gems, movies that utilize gore and intense imagery for an entertaining viewing experience. However, it also has more than its fair share of questionable releases that leave audiences scratching their heads more than hiding under blankets. Some movies try to shock but only end up baffling, as seen inJack Frost. Meanwhile, sequels likeAmerican Psycho 2completely miss the nuanced terror of their predecessors, opting for over-the-top, aimless violence.These films lack the suspense and thought-provoking themes that make horror unforgettable.Instead, they embrace absurdity and plot holes, leading to cult status among some fans but falling flat for horror purists. Ultimately, these entries remind us that not all horror movies are destined to scare – some are just a frightful mess.
10’Slumber Party Massacre II' (1987)
Directed by Deborah Brock
“I didn’t even think he was real… Just some crazy nightmare!“Slumber Party Massacre IIisa strange blend of slasher horror and musical campthat doesn’t quite hit the mark in either genre. The plot picks up with Courtney (Crystal Bernard), one of the survivors from the first film, as she struggles with nightmares about a sadistic killer wielding a drill. Her dreams begin to seep into reality when she and her friends go away for a weekend getaway.
The movie is infamous for its bizarre tone, jumping between cheesy musical numbers and violent slasher moments. While the idea of mixing horror, humor, and rock music might have sounded fun on paper, the execution is confusing. It’s neither funny nor frightening, just tedious. It’s somehow still boring despite featuring a wisecracking villain wielding a drill-tipped electric guitar. Even by B-tier slasher film standards, the sheer incompetence ofSlumber Party Massacre IImakes it nearly unwatchable.
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9’Jack Frost' (1997)
Directed by Michael Cooney
“It ain’t f***ing Frosty!“Jack Frostcenters on a notorious serial killer of the same name (Scott MacDonald), who is on his way to execution when a freak accident involving a genetic chemical leaves him transformed into a living, breathing snowman. Now endowed with supernatural powers, Jack returns to terrorize the town that put him behind bars.
As the premise makes clear, this isone of the most absurd holiday-themed horror moviesever made. Unfortunately,it’s not even satisfying in its lunacy.Jack Frostis all build-up and no payoff, serving up little more than haphazard editing, hopeless acting, music that is oddly cheerful, and a barrage of goofy one-liners. Indeed, this movie contains a painful amount of snow-based puns. That said, the special effects for the snowman are admittedly not bad for the time. The movie’s overall atrociousness (as well as that of its sequels) displeased critics but earnedJack Frosta minor cult following.
Jack Frost
After an accident that left murderer Jack Frost dead in genetic material the vengeful killer returns as a murderous snowman to exact his revenge on the man who sent him to be executed
8’Pinocchio’s Revenge' (1996)
Directed by Kevin S. Tenney
“I didn’t do it! Pinocchio did!“ The story of this one focuses on Jennifer (Rosalind Allen), a defense attorney who brings home a wooden puppet that was part of a murder trial involving a father accused of killing his son. As strange and dangerous events begin to occur, Jennifer’s young daughter Zoe (Brittany Alyse Smith) becomes convinced that the puppet, Pinocchio, is alive. In other words, generic haunted doll stuff, though this is a far cry fromChild’s Play.
While not outright abysmal,Pinocchio’s Revengeis dull and lethargic, which is disappointing given that it was made byKevin S. Tenney, who wrote the 1980s cult horrorWitchboard(soon to receive a remake). The movie attempts to present itself as a cerebral thriller but fails miserably; it tries to dip into slasher territory but doesn’t succeed there either. Plus, there’s also oddly little actual revenge to be found here. It’s just lame.
7’Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2' (1987)
Directed by Lee Harry
“Garbage day!“ TheSilent Night, Deadly Nightseries began shakily and then took a major nosedive with the second installment. Following on where the first movie left off, the story follows Ricky Chapman (Eric Freeman), the brother of Billy, the original film’s killer. Ricky recounts his traumatic childhood and his brother’s murderous spree in long, drawn-out flashbacks that consist of footage from the first movie. It’s not until the second half of the film that Ricky’s own killing spree begins, but by then, the movie has already lost much of its momentum.
Part 2is widely regarded as one of the laziest sequels in horror history, recycling a significant portion of its runtime from the original film - literally. It straight-up reuses tons of footagefrom its predecessor. Despite the many flaws, a lot of viewers ironically enjoy Freeman’s over-the-top performance. In their opinion,Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2is so-bad-it’s-good.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2
6’American Psycho 2' (2002)
Directed by Morgan J. Freeman
“My name is Rachael Newman, and I’m never going to get caught.“American Psycho 2isa direct-to-video sequelthat bears little resemblance to the critically acclaimed original. It starsMila Kunisas Rachael, a college student with a thirst for success and an even deadlier thirst for blood. In pursuit of a coveted teaching assistant position, Rachel violently eliminates all her competition.
The movie plays out like a subpar slasher, lacking the satirical edge that made the first one a standout. TheAmerican Psycholabel feels lazily tacked on. It doesn’t help that Kunis comes across as bratty and annoying rather than scary or complex. For all these reasons, the movie feels overlong despite clocking in at just 88 minutes. Kunis herself has since acknowledged that the movie is a stinker. When rumors circulated that a thirdAmerican Psychowas in development,she wrote, “Please—somebody stop this. Write a petition.”
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American Psycho II: All American Girl
5’Cheerleader Massacre' (2003)
Directed by Jim Wynorski
“Who says death can’t be fun?“ Another entry in theMassacrecinematic universe, this one predictably revolves around a group of cheerleaders who find themselves stranded in a remote area after their bus breaks down. As they seek shelter, a masked killer begins stalking and brutally murdering them. The movie is filled with gratuitous nudity, gory kills, and cheesy dialogue, but it’s tedious rather than titillating. Overall,the film’s aesthetic resembles softcore porn, minus the actual sex.
Cheerleader Massacredeliberately attempts to recreate the vibe of a low-budget ’80s horror. This is a fine idea, but the filmmakers don’t succeed in achieving it. Despite schlock legendRoger Cormanproducing andChopping Mall’sJim Wynorskidirecting, the movie is a complete misfire. The movie actually started out as aSlumber Party Massacresequel, but the producers changed the title at the last minute so that they could market it as a standalone feature.
Directed by Uwe Boll
“You created it to be immortal, and now it’s killing you.“House of the Dead, directed by the infamousUwe Boll(Alone in the Dark,BloodRayne) is one of the most infamous video game adaptations ever made. It’s the kind of movie that makes 1994’sStreet Fighterlook likeThe Last of Us. Plot-wise, it’s about a group of friends who travel to a remote island for a rave, only to discover that the island is overrun by zombies. However, the story takes a backseat to the gore and tepid frights.
The original arcade game is goofy fun, butthis flick is utterly brainless. Disjointed and poorly acted,House of the Deadinexplicably weaves in actual footage from the game itself, making this seem like an awful extended trailer. There is a long-running theory that Boll simply makes films as a means of exploitinga German tax loophole. Watching this movie, that hypothesis is easy to believe.
House of the Dead
3’Mr. Jingles' (2006)
Directed by Tommy Brunswick
“Mr. Jingles is coming for you!“ This killer clown film follows a man (Rudy Hatfield) who was wrongfully imprisoned and murdered, only to return from the dead as a vengeful killer dressed as a clown. His main target is the family of the people responsible for his wrongful conviction, and he begins his bloody revenge spree.It’s a generic concept rendered spectacularly dreadful by inept storytelling.
The few critics who reviewedMr. Jingleseviscerated it, with several describing it as a new low for direct-to-video horror. The visual quality is roughly on the level of Super 8, and the audio sounds as if it was recorded on a Nokia 3310. On top of that, some of the dialogue is ridiculously bad, to the point that it seems like parody. Finally, Mr. Jingles himself looks like a dollar store Pennywise. All told, the movie is a pure trainwreck and not even worth watching ironically.
2’Ax ‘Em’ (1992)
Directed by Michael Mfume
“Let’s get out of here before he chops us up!“Ax ‘Emis widely regarded asone of the worst slasher moviesever made, and for good reason. The plot, which follows some pals on a weekend trip to a cabin in the woods, is as clichéd as it gets, with a killer lurking nearby to pick them off one by one. Characters show up without explanation and then disappear again just as pointlessly.What setsAx ‘Emapart, however, is its complete lack of technical competence.
The audio is nearly inaudible at times (the music often drowns out the dialogue), the lighting is so poor that entire scenes are impossible to make out, and the camera work is so shaky that it’s hard to tell what’s happening on screen. Visually, this is one of the worst features of the 1990s. The acting is little better, with wooden performances and awkward line delivery throughout.
1’Zombie Nation’ (2004)
Directed by Ulli Lommel
“Nobody comes back from the dead without paying a price.“ When it comes to the very worst R-rated horror of all time, it’s hard to top the bafflingZombie Nation, yet another low-budget stinker from filmmakerUlli Lommel(Curse of the Zodiac,Diary of a Cannibal). It’s about a corrupt police officer who murders women and hides their bodies, only for them to come back as zombies seeking revenge.
The plot is barely coherent, with scenes that seem to have little connection to one another, and the zombies themselves are an afterthought, with almost no screen time. They also don’t really seem like zombies at all. For example, they have raccoon-eye makeup, they talk like ordinary people, and one even drives a car. There are goofs aplenty and scenes that are truly mystifying, like a good priest encouraging the undead to eat cheeseburgers. For all these reasons, the movie currently holds an impressively low 1.5on IMDbbased on more than 8000 reviews.
