In its 38 years of marketing and merchandising, theStar Warsfranchises has brought some of the big screen’s greatest characters and moments to life in the form of toys, action figures, and vehicles. What kid wouldn’t want to dress as Luke Skywalker for Halloween, brandishing a light-up lightsaber to battle against the evil Empire? What collector wouldn’t want to scour yard sales for highly sought-after,valuableStar Warstoys?But the law of averages states that if some of these toys are exemplary, and most are acceptable, then there must be a fair representation of some weird, unusual, and downright strange toys that no one in their right mind would ever want to buy.
Since we’re talking about the rabidStar Warsfandom however, “right mind” is a relative term since the weirder these toys are, the more interesting they seem to be to collectors. Sure, some of it’s just junk that someone, somewhere thought would make a quick sale … and they were probably right. I mean, this is the toyline that once sold peoplean empty cardboard boxwith the promise that their display-worthy action figures would show up eventually. “Weird” is in the eye of the beholder, so with that in mind, take a look at some of the weirdestStar Warstoys ever.
Han Solo in a Trench Coat
Trench coats inherently have a very thin line between making a character appear much cooler vs weird and creepy.Harrison Ford’sBlade Runnercharacter, Rick Deckard: very cool. Ford’s Han Solo wearing a camo trench coat inReturn of the Jedi: not cool, notthatweird. ThisStar Warsfigure of Han Solo in an overly large and bulky trench coat: way weird. you’re able to get your hands on this figure for yourself (no questions asked) viaEbay:
Polis Massan Medic
Now everyStar Warsfan knows Han Solo, trench coat or not; only the most rabid of fans will recognize this Polis Massan medic. These creepy-looking characters acted as a midwife of sorts for Queen Amidala inStar Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. Turns out that, hey, they weren’t really equipped to deal with childbirth and left the whole thing up to a medical droid instead, but that didn’t stop them from starring at Amidala’s supine form with their cold, featureless faces.
If you need the Polis Massan medics to complete your operating room diorama, you can buy this missing medic throughEbayhere:
Weequay Skiff Master
You know what profession most kids want to be when they grow up? Gondolier. So it follows that kids who happen to love theStar Warsmovies want to bring the sci-fi/fantasy version of a Venetian pole-pusher home in action figure form. Enter this Weequay Skiff Master, a wrinkly faced guardian aboard one of the skiffs escorting Jabba the Hutt’s floating barge. You can recreate his untimely death at the hands of Luke’s lightsaber with this super-weird figure below (viaRebelscum):
Now we’re entering the obscure realm ofStar Warscharacters and their associated figures. Some of these weirdos have a screen presence that is shorter than the time it takes to say their names. Case in point, Orrimaarko, better known as Pruneface. This one-eyed, eyepatch-wearing, testicle-headed alien was apparently a rebel character inReturn of the Jedi.
Complete your Extended Universe collection with Pruneface, who comes with testicle-head-squeezing eyepatch action and burlap cape accessory! Kids love it! (ViaRebelscum):
Amanaman and His Staff of Shrunken Keads
TheStar Warsuniverse is replete with alien creations ranging from the beautiful to the horrific (see above). We’ll stick to the weirder end of the spectrum with this little-known bounty hunter who resembles a giganticplanarian. Weird enough yet? Nope! This guy also has a penchant for keeping shrunken heads on the staff he carries around with him. You should put this figure in the background of Jabba’s Palace, perhaps enjoying the tunes of the Max Rebo Band. Or just put it in the trash and set it on fire. (ViaRebelscum)
Perhaps the most recognizable element of theStar Warsuniverse is something that is often referenced but never seen. I’m talking, of course, about The Force. It’s the mystical, magical living energy that drives all actions in the universe, or some bull like that. So, if there are action figures for characters as obscure as Amidala’s medics and Jabba’s skiff guards, surely The Force should get some action figure love, right?
Han Solo: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
Despite Han’s objections, one cleverEbay usercreated a custom model of The Force which you can buy if you are so inclined:
Ghost of Anakin Skywalker
OK, that last one was a bit of a joke, but at least it was done in the spirit of good fun. These next figures are done in a spirit of marketing and nepotism. First up, Anakin Skywalker!
“But wait, Anakin was an integral character to theStar Warsfilms! Of course he should have a figure!” I agree. However, this particular version is one of Anakin’s ghost, much like the holographic apparition who appears to Luke inReturn of the Jedi. Thankfully, this figure was created when Anakin usurperHayden Christensenwas only four years old, soSebastian Shawends up with this ghostly figure. Since Kenner couldn’t make a convincing see-through toy, they just drained all the color out of his hair and skin, and gave him haunting eyes. Fun for kids! (ViaRebelscum)
George Lucas and Family … Wait, What?
It’s not enough to be the creator of a multi-billion-dollar franchise, or to retroactively meddle with otherwise classic films in order to inject new technology into older movies,George Lucasfelt the need to get into costume and star in one of his own features. Oh, and I should mention that heforcedasked his adopted children to do the same forRevenge of the Sith. If that wasn’t bad enough, there’s also an action figure collection featuring the Lucas brood. Their characters are as follows:
The George Lucas Family Set is a StarWarsShop exclusive!
Eagle-eyed fans watching Revenge of the Sith may have noticed George Lucas' first-ever Star Wars cameo as the blue-faced Baron Papanoida waiting outside the Coruscant Opera House. What some may not realize, however, is that the entire Lucas enclave – Katie, Amanda, and Jett Lucas – also made brief appearances in the movie, immortalized now for the first time as Hasbro action figures!
This exclusive four-figure set includes three brand new sculpts available only at StarWarsShop. Included in the set are:
- Baron Papanoida
- Chi Eekway (Katie Lucas)
- Terr Taneel (Amanda Lucas)
- Zett Jukassa (Jett Lucas)
Here’s a look at the collection, which you can purchase for display purposes, voodoo, whatever (viaAmazon):
Darth Vader / Death Star Transformer
If you ever thought thatStar WarsandTransformersreally need to exist in a combined universe, then this toy is right up your alley! Perhaps the two most menacing entities in the entirety of theStar Warsrun - Darth Vader and the Death Star - unite into one terrifying, transforming monstrosity in this Hasbro figure. Let’s just hope the Millennium Falcon clears the docking bay before the transformation is complete.
Here’s some of the specs and images of the Darth Star transformer, viaAmazon:
When opened up, this amazing 2-in-1 toy instantly becomes Darth Vader–wielding weapons, warriors and the force to do battle against the Rebel Alliance. With some crafty reconstruction, however, this fearsome figure becomes the equally evil, planet-destroying Death Star.
As the battle station, the toy features compartments from which TIE fighter aircrafts can fly, and in which miniature figures and Vader’s detachable cape can be stored. For fighting on a smaller scale, the toy comes with three fighter planes seven “mini-figs” include and 1-inch tall versions of Darth Vader and three Storm Troopers. A translucent green missile launches from an opening in the Death Star as well as from Darth Vader’s gun. Of course, Vader wouldn’t be complete without his signature red Lightsaber, which generates realistic Lightsaber sound when placed in his right hand. Another button on the figure’s stomach prompts famous Vader lines from the Star Wars movies.
This may be weird, but I’d love to see Darth Star take onSpaceballs’Mega Maid. Some other weirdStar Wars/Transformersmash-ups include:
Blaster Rifle Carrying Case
Now that you’ve got your collection of weird-assStar Warsfigures, you’ve got to find a way to tote them all around. I’ve got you covered with this authentic reproduction of a Stormtrooper laser blaster rifle! What better way to show off yourStar Warsfigures collection than carrying around an assault rifle and pointing it at strangers? Take it to school, to the playground, and to your local police precinct! Ages 4 and up! (ViaThe SWCA):
Brand new reproduction of theLASER RIFLEused by theREBEL ALLIANCEandTHE EMPIREinSTAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI. It has a pretend “telescopic sight” for tracking the enemy. It even has a compartment to store accessories and secret messages. And when opened, theLASER RIFLEbecomes a carrying case for up to 19STAR WARSAction Figures. Both the Case and Action Figures sold separately. Ages 4 and up.
