There is no other major movie franchise more drastically,dramaticallyvaried than the films based on DC Comics. It’s been awildride, man.Richard Donnermade you believe a man could fly.Tim Burtonturned Gotham City into a Gothic dreamscape. Beautiful madmanJoel Schumacherslapped some damn nipples on Batman’s chest and thenChristopher Nolanmade such tomfoolery illegal in all 50 states.Zack Snyderleveled Metropolis and then smashed two titans together beforeJoss Whedontook over his post and boy is that conversation still happening.David Ayercompiled what I’ve been told is some sort ofSuicide Squad,which spun off intoCathy Wan’sBirds of Prey, a candy-colored gift to bisexuals across the globe. Somewhere, in the middle of all this,Jason Momoarode a Lovecraftian sea-beast with the voice ofJulie Andrewsout of the Earth’s core and that movie made more than one billion dollars.
The point being, the concept of a “DC Comic Movie” has more definitions than a Joker mood swing, and I can say that because the list you are about to read features no less than four Jokers. (Two wonOscarsfor it. One hadgrillsand it wasterrible.) Right, the list. The villains. No matter what, the leg up DC has always had on its Marvel Cinematic competition is an endlessly interesting roster of movie villains. So we ranked them, all of them in all their villainous glory. But first, some quick caveats:
With allthatout of the way, here is every DC Movie Villain, ranked from worst to best.
45. Parallax, ‘Green Lantern’
At this point, nine years later, to say theGreen Lanternfilm had a few problems is like saying the Titanic had a buoyancy issue, so let’s not belabor the point. But, okay, one thing: Parallax, one of the Lantern Corps' most enduring villains, an ancient, demonic embodiment offear itself, looks like a newspaper strip cartoonist drew a fart. For shame, all around.
44. Steppenwolf (Ciarán Hinds), ‘Justice League’
Yes, if you’ve ever spent a minimum of 0.25 seconds on Twitter you probably already know that Darkseid, not Steppenwolf, was supposed to be the Big Bad of Justice League. But Steppenwolf is what we got, he’s what we have to live with (for now!), and no antagonist has ever given off stronger Last Minute Replacement vibes.Ciarán Hindstruly tries his best but Steppenwolf, the New God commander of Apokolips' parademon army, is a shoulder-shrug emoji come to life. An above-average sized CGI warrior looking for a glowing box. Avitalpart of Steppenwolf’s plan involves casually dropping by off-screen and plucking a Mother Box off the roof of a cop car. After two hours Superman just, like, beats his ass until even his supernaturally loyal soldiers are like “wow, yeah, this dude sucks.”
43. Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow), ‘Superman IV: The Quest for Peace’
Oh,Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, my beautiful sloppy son. A notoriously cheap-looking cheese-fest needs a villain to match, and boy did director Sidney J. Furie get his money’s worth inMark Pillow’s Nuclear Man, an unstoppable foe whose powers deactivate without exposure to the sun. To defeat this absolute titan either call Superman or the shadiest tree in your backyard. My favorite part about this character—besides the fact he looks like the Ultimate Warrior’s estranged father—is that someone on the creative team looked at the finished product, decided it simply wasn’t terrible enough yet, and had Gene Hackman dub over Pillow’s lines, taking the whole thing from uncomfortable to uncanny.
42. Bane (Jeep Swenson), ‘Batman & Robin’
His name is Bane, he’s very strong, and he says “Bane!” If we’re being honest here, I love this absolutely deranged take on DC’s biggest Venom addict fromJoel Schumacher’sBatman & Robin, but only in the way one loves a three-legged table for its novelty. In reality, itprobablywasn’t the best idea to take away any semblance of the comic book character’s genius intellect in favor of a “MUSCLES BIG, BATMAN BAD” approach, even if that character design remains a campy, bulging delight.
41. Nathaniel Burke (Judd Nelson), ‘Steel’
Steelis such a hyper-specific snapshot of the year 1997 that it’s actually illegal to watch it while sitting in anything other than an inflatable chair you bought at Spencer’s. We just decidedShaquille O’Nealwas going to lead a superhero movie, andJudd Nelsonwould play the villainous Nathaniel Burke, a corrupt soldier who plans to auction off advanced weaponry over something called “the internet”. Nelson is fine, but like pretty much everything inSteelhis character is just…kinda lame! (I say “pretty much” becauseRichard Roundtreeis in this movie.) Judd Nelson shoots a laser gun at four-time NBA Champion Shaquille O’Neal in a metal suit and the laser bounces off the metal suit and Judd Nelson dies.Steel!
40. Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich), ‘Jonah Hex’
One of the most disappointing truths of modern cinema is thatJohn Malkovichplayed an evil cowboy who wants to blow up the U.S. Capitol Building with a super-cannon and it was all kind of boring. The only thing you really need to know about the depth of characterization to every role inJonah Hexis that this movie is 81 minutes long and that includes credits.
39. Enchantress (Cara Delevingne), ‘Suicide Squad’
I mean, who the hell even knows what the deal was withSuicide Squad, a movie chopped to candy-colored, vaguely racist pieces by a studio in full panic mode. The best thing to say about its Big Bad, the ancient demonic witch named Enchantress (Cara Delevigne), is that she was able to speak more than one line before her head exploded, which is more than we can say for dearly departed Slipknot (Adam Beach). But all the gyrations in the world can’t elevate a paper-thin character driving a paper-thin plot about the most stock end-of-the-world scenario you’ve ever seen in your life. There was even a sky beam. Of course, there was a sky beam. In the end, this interdimensional deity with the power to end humanity was taken out by a team where the like third most important member throws a boomerang.
38. Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard), ‘Green Lantern’
Peter Sarsgaard’s Hector Hammond is probably the #1 piece of evidence that just because a character’s design is faithful to the comics doesn’t mean that character design was a good idea. (And that’s coming from someone whodesperately wants a live-action M.O.D.O.K.to join the MCU.) Bless every thespian bone in Sarsgaard’s body, but there’s not a performance strong enough to not get overshadowed by the fact thisGreen Lanternbaddie, infected by a piece of Parallax, looks like the avocado you ask a Ralph’s employee to get rid of as a safety concern.
37. Doomsday, ‘Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice’
Good lord, this thumb-looking motherfucker.
36. Ross Webster (Robert Vaughn), ‘Superman III’
On paper,The Man from U.N.C.L.E.starRobert Vaughnplaying an evil, scheming industrialist while serving several iconic winter jacket lewks in the process is a home run. The problem withSuperman III’s Ross Webster is that, as written by David and Leslie Newman, he’s just very obviously a second-rate Lex Luthor.Gene Hackmanhad done this before in a much better movie. Adding to the bummer of it all is the fact Webster’s ploys lead to a self-aware supercomputer, bringing to mind a depressing whiff ofRichard Donner’s original plans to bring Brainiac into the franchise before departing the project altogether.
