Now, I’m not exactly turning into a dog by night, but so much ofNightbitchrings true for me as a mother of a young child. In the film,Amy Adams’ character gives up her career, self-care,and overall sense of self to become a mother.She struggles with the day-to-day challenges of motherhood, from the practical aspects of entertaining a toddler to engaging her brain to come out of the fog that many experience at the onset of having a new baby.
For me,the film’s metaphor of the canine transformationrunning parallel with the transition to motherhood is as on point as it gets. The physical changes Adams’ character goes through as she becomes a dog are weird, gross, and feral. Whileher husband is a supportive partner and father,she still struggles under the weight of all the newfound demands that he just doesn’t understand. As she tries to take care of her child,she forgets to take care of herself, and when she tries, it’s almost impossible —something that is all too relatable for mothers worldwide.
‘Nightbitch’ Shows How Easy It Is To Lose Your Own Identity When Becoming a Parent
InNightbitch, Adams’ character loves her child, butdoesn’t quite love being a motherin the “traditional sense." She dreads going to those sing-songy baby groups, and her inner monologs depict the real-life panic and guilt some of us experience. This may be a taboo topic, but I’ve found that when candidly speaking to other mothers,many feel the same way that her character does. No matter how much you love your child,becoming a first-time parent is a shockto the system. As I believe it should be, everything is now about my child, but as that shift happened in an instant from the moment they were born, there was really no build-up, or training period.It ramps up from zero to a hundred immediately, and it’s easy to forget who you are in the process.
An effective representation of how one loses their identity when taking on the role of “mother," is inAdams’ character having no name. This reflects my experience in so many ways,as I often only introduce myself simply as my child’s mother— I also know many other parents only by their kids’ names. Sure, it helps to limit information when you’re busy taking care of a small child, but boy, isthe brain fog of motherhood real.
‘Nightbitch’ Depicts the Emotional and Physical Toll of Motherhood
Physically,the transformation into a dogis also unfortunately relatable. As “mother” devours raw meat, it reminded me of some cravings I’ve had in the throes of iron deficiency. The upsetting postpartum body changes are nothing new to women, and since having had a baby,I just don’t feel the same in my own body. The best physical manifestation inNightbitchis when “mother” has an abundance of dog-like nipples down her front — a perfect metaphorfor feeling like a milk machine more than a human.Whether bottle or breastfeeding, it feels like, in baby’s eyes, you have one purpose as a parent — food.
Nothing is as primal as raising a small, uninhibited, helpless child. A friend, who is also a mother, once poignantly said to me, “You’re at your weakest after giving birth, yet you have to continue draining your body to keep this little human alive.” Make no mistake, I love my child more than anything,but the emotional and physical strain of being a full-time parent is taxing— especially as it begins immediately after going through a physically difficult experience, with only an overwhelming amount of emotion and adrenaline keeping you going. Sometimes, all you can do isturn off your brain and embrace the primal, less cerebral side of yourself — especially in those newborn days when even taking a shower is a luxury.
It’s the Small Details in ‘Nightbitch’ That I Really Appreciate
The nice little touches thatNightbitchadds make it even more relatable to me. The dad, played wonderfully byScoot McNairy, isfar from a deadbeat, as he’s wanting and willing to parent.No matter how he tries, he can’t unburden the mother, even whenhe’s a great father. He’s trying to help and be involved, but because he’s not there full-time, he can’t do many things on his own. She can’t get a moment to relax — he still needs her for little things, like fetching a towel or skin cream. The waythe film has “husband” go through his own transitioninto parenthood is a small but appreciated supporting narrative arc. When he finally hears that howl in the distance, I nearly applauded.
The other aspect ofNightbitchthat I greatly appreciate is the age of the child.With the child being a toddler and not a baby, it’s a statementabout how thistransition into motherhoodisn’t instant or complete after the baby stage. For many women it can drag on into toddler years and beyond. For me, it took a couple of years (and a global pandemic didn’t help), though it will simply take however long it takes for someone to settle into the role —it’s a different and unique experience for everyone.
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Alexa, play the ‘Hereditary’ monologue.
Like inNightbitch,my journey into motherhood has been an evolution as much as it’s been a transformation.I’m slowly learningto balance my own needs with my child’s (every day is a school day for a parent), and we’ve managed to find the rhythm of being a family with a young child.For me,my experience with motherhood so far is basically the plot ofNightbitch.
I would never want to sound ungrateful, as I know how lucky I am. It’s just thatparenthood is one of life’s big challengesthat we need to learn to navigate. That initial transition from being your own person to a parent is a huge learning curve, and it can overwhelm emotionally, physically, and physiologically.This is something we should normalize talking about without guilt,and I’m so happy thatNightbitchopens the door (and the doggy-door) to the conversation.
Nightbitch
A stay-at-home mother starts experiencing bizarre changes, suspecting she is transforming into a dog. As her reality blurs between the mundane and the monstrous, she grapples with her identity, her role in the family, and the primal instincts awakening within her.
