Editor’s Note: The following contains spoilers from Episode 9 of The Last of Us.Is it over already? In Episode 9, the season finale ofThe Last of Us, Joel (Pedro Pascal) and Ellie (Bella Ramsey) finally reach their destination where they are to reunite with the Fireflies. After the backstory of Ellie’s harrowing birth, and a spontaneous and heartwarming encounter with a giraffe, Joel smiles at Ellie’s excitement before the two make their way into the innards of the city. The two are almost immediately separated after Joel is knocked out and detained by firefly patrolmen as Ellie is whisked away. Joel comes to inside the hospital, where he is met byMarlene (Merle Dandridge).

After deflecting Marlene’s attempts to thank Joel and praise him for getting Ellie all the way across the country in one piece, the two start to discuss what is going to happen to Ellie now that she is in the hands of the Fireflies and their doctor. This is where things get very complicated for Joel, and he is forced to make a choice that may or may not have been the right one, but it is undoubtedly the only one he was going to be able to live with and keep on living.

Joel and Ellie in The Last of Us Season 1 Finale

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Ellie Is a Possible Cure

Upon arriving at the hospital, Marlene explains to Joel that Ellie is safe and unharmed. She goes on to inform him that they have determined that the blood that is coursing through Ellie’s veins seems to containan element that masks the Cordyceps fungal infectionand keeps the virus from spreading. Marlene maintains that a serum can be created from it and that it could be a cure. The key word there is “could.” Joel, who’s still a little foggy from taking the butt of a rifle to the head, takes a moment to realize that the fungus infects the brain, and in order to produce what may or may not be a cure, the doctor is going to have to cut into Ellie’s brain and kill her. This is the point where Joel and Ellie very much differ on just how disposable Ellie and her brain are. For Joel, there is no decision to be made. The choice is simple. Marlene and the Fireflies are going to have to find someone else.

For Joel, There Is No Choice About Saving Ellie

Once Joel has this epiphany, he doesn’t hesitate for a second before knowing that he is going to have to save Ellie. We’re not here to debate whetherJoel’s choice was therightone— just that, in his mind, it was theonlyone. There is certainly a large faction of fans of the Naughty Dog game and the HBO show that will argue that Joel made a selfish decision, that he made a decision that wasn’t his to make. Who was he to decide to put a stop to the development of a potential cure for every person living in the ravaged apocalyptic society that has befallen them? Maybe he could have secured Ellie somehow until the anesthesia wore off and asked her what she wanted. But at that moment, and the moments when Joel is being escorted out of the building by two armed guards, there wasn’t an iota of doubt about what it is that he has to do.

Joel Goes on a Rampage

After overtaking the two guards charged with escorting Joel out of the hospital and coldly assassinating them both, he heads back upstairs to rescue Ellie. Along the way, he goes on a rampage killing everyone in his path on his way to the operating roomwhere Ellie is being prepped for a surgery that will kill her.

If there is any doubt that Joel is prepared to go full scorched earth to save his travel companion and adoptive daughter, it’s completely erased when he puts a bullet between the surgeon’s eyes who threatens him with a scalpel. The shaken nurses are quick to fall in line and Joel carries Ellie out through the parking garage only to be ambushed by Marlene. She attempts to appeal to Joel’s sense of reason, but it doesn’t work, and we say goodbye to our favorite Firefly and rebel leader who was splendid in bookending the first season of the show appearing in just two episodes — the first and the last. By killing Marlene, it is just a further testament to just how much the connection between Joel and Ellie has evolved.

Pedro Pascal as Joel in the Season 1 finale of The Last of Us

At the end of Episode 8 entitled, “When We Are in Need” Joel embraces Ellie just as she has escaped David’s creepy clutches and the fiery Silver Lake Resort where she had been housed in. During the process of calming her down and assuaging any fears that she is still in danger, Joel says, “I’ve got you, baby girl.” It is a seminal moment in the first season and illustrates how Joel has wholeheartedly accepted Ellie as much more than a package to be delivered,but as a surrogate daughterthat he cares for just as much as he did Sarah (Nico Parker) — and one who could potentially fill the empty void that he has been carrying around with him in his soul for more than 20 years.

During their time together, Joel and Ellie have seen so much death and lost people that they love. The fact is that their relationship has morphed into something akin to what he had with Sarah, and the thought of losing another young girl that he holds so close to his heart is unimaginable. The scene where Joel comes clean aboutwhere his scar comes fromand his suicide attempt is another flashpoint in their growing bond. He trusts her with his deepest and most shameful secrets and vice versa. There was no way that Joel was going to let that kind of relationship slip through his fingers again.

Laura Bailey in Episode 9 of The Last of Us

Joel and Ellie Have Saved Each Other’s Lives

Throughout the nine-episode premiere season, Joel and Ellie have kept each other alive in different ways. Joel has protected Ellie from physical harm as her bodyguard and protector. Ellie has saved Joel’s life after being stabbed back at the University, but also in a much deeper and more meaningful way. To Joel, Ellie’s youthful innocence and exuberance gradually wore away the rough and hardened exterior. With her corny puns and ability to make him laugh in such a brutal world bereft of hope, she gave him a reason to keep going.Ellie is a symbol of a future that Joel never thought existeduntil he met and got to know her. So in a very real sense, the two saved each other’s lives, albeit in different ways.

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Merle Dandridge as Marlene on the last of us episode 9

Pedro Pascal and bella ramsey as joel and ellie in the last of us episode 9