It’s a bold move to assume that any marriage in the entertainment industry has a shot at longevity.Tom Hanks is evenon his second marriage, and he’s one of the most well-liked guys on the planet. But in an industry teeming with infidelity, scandal, and narcissism, one man stands alone in being the most divorced person in Hollywood, and that man is oneDavid Foster. David Foster is an award-winning musician and producer, having worked with some of the most prolific artists, includingMichael JacksonandWhitney Houston. The only thing this man is collecting more than GRAMMYs is marriages, with his fifth one being to a much youngerKatherine McPhee.
When he’s not gracing award shows, concert halls, and recording studios, surely the man is camped out in the parking lot of a Dairy Queen every Sunday afternoon doing custody tradeoffs with one of his many ex-wives.When any marriage ending is a sad inevitability in the entertainment industry, it eventually gives the kids just the right amount of trauma to be funny and overshare on camera.So why not make areality showabout David being a father and stepfather to half of the nepo babies you all love to snark about?
The Foster Family Tree is a California Redwood
David’s a father to six children of his own, and you may have seen his daughtersSara FosterandErin Fosteron your screens. Sara has an esteemed acting CV, having played the enduring role of herself on bothEntourageand her showBarely Famouswith Erin. Like everyone else that’s audacious and traumatized in a palatable kind of way, Erin and Sara have a podcast. They’re showed a semblance of self-awareness by naming itWorld’s First Podcast, but the even more self-aware option was coincidentally used by Erin when titling her Netflix showNobody Wants This.They also have a fashion brand called Favorite Daughter, which I can’t even knock because I actually own some of their stuff and it’s cute.
Sara and Erin are mainstays in the Hollywood scene and are inexplicably friends with literally famous woman that’s as skinny, blonde, and rich as they are.David’s 14-year marriage toLinda Thompsonrendered him the stepfather toBrody JennerandBrandon Jenner, who also happen to be theformer stepsiblings of the Kardashian’sandhalf brothers toKendallandKylie Jenner.Of course, he was also married to the original almond mom,Yolandid Hadid, who is the mother to modelsAnwar,Bella, andGigi Hadid.
Sara has made jokes about being related to every nepo baby in LA, posting a lineup of her alongside the Hadids and Jenners at Yolanda and David’s wedding for National Siblings Day. While it’s been a solid eight years since she posted that picture on Instagram,it still consumes me every day that these people don’t have a reality show of their own. Accumatively, these siblings have amassed an impressive reality television resumé, with stints onKeeping Up With the Kardashians,The Hills,The Princes of Malibu,Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and more. Why not give these kids a shot at even more fame and even more money, but this time with an opportunity that they deserve?
We’ve seen only about a thousand thinkpieces about nepo babies decimating the integrity of Hollywood, as if Hollywood had much integrity to begin with.While I see why nepo babies are hired for acting jobs over theater kids because theater kids are objectively more obnoxious than nepo babies, I can understand both the morbid fascination and embittered aversion to these people. These people have “nepo baby” littered in their ritzy social media posts as well, so it’s not like they’re oblivious to it, so why not give these nepo babies the one showbiz opportunity they rightfully earned by giving them a reality show?
Brody Jenner Opens Up About Invasive Relationship With Father Caitlyn Jenner
Brody reflects on this complex dynamic.
Imagine the Drama Viewers Will See
It’s been far too long since these siblings have interacted, at least on camera for the world to obsessively dissect. So much has changed since Sara posted that iconic ode to her siblings, and they have so much to catch up on and hash out. Gigi had a baby with a boy bander and is now datingBradley Cooper! Bella moved to Austin and is now dating a professional cowboy! Erin finally brought awareness to how criminally underrated and dangerously attractiveAdam Brodyis with her Netflix show!The only constant remaining is that Brody still dates 25-year-olds, and that’s to be expected, but at least he has a baby now.
With the advent of social media breaking the wall between Hollywood and the real world, it’s been difficult to recreate the ineffable trashy hot magic that was the early 2000’s. While I thank God that the atrocity of The CW’sHigh Societyonly lasted one season, I truly crave shows likeKeeping Up With the KardashiansandPretty Wildthat let their glittery, spray tanned demons air out for the world to see.Denise Richards & Her Wild Thingscertainly scratches that itch, and it’s a shame it was only a measly eight episodes becauseI need more of it.The entertainment industry won’t stop shovingbastardized rebootsand soulless nepo baby performances down our throats, so why not give viewers a reboot of our favorite Hollywood dynasty?
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
